HOW to make someone understand your story
What if you’ve tried to find a creative solution and the situation doesn’t improve? For example, after several conversations and promises to improve, a direct report continues to be disrespectful. Or after your numerous requests to be prompt, an important member of the team continues to show up late or not at all. Did I mention there are no guarantees? You may not get your point across, ever. You can, however, remain respectful, interested, and purposeful. In the final analysis, this is where your power lies. You can also employ your company’s performance management system as early in the process as possible and hold your staff accountable to its guidelines. At this stage, the point you want to get across changes. You are no longer asking for behavior change. Instead you’re making sure the employee understands the consequences of the road he is traveling.
I practice and teach the martial art Aikido, often translated from the Japanese as “the way of blending with energy.” In aikido, as the attack comes I center and extend ki (life energy) to meet the attacker, align with him, and redirect his energy. I lead without force. In life and business, you do the same when your language and manner are poised and focused, when you exercise both power and compassion, and when you make your adversary a partner by honoring his energy and positive intent.